January 2025 - FAQ’s

Frequently Asked Questions

How are you doing? 

As one could imagine, I am not okay. I am tired all the time and I am so busy with tasks and decisions every day that it is incredibly overwhelming. While I am doing daily tasks of packing lunches, getting the kids to school & basketball practices - I am managing it all -  but it feels constantly heavy and I miss my husband, my partner in everything, tremendously everyday. 

Many of you know that my mom, who was diagnosed with cancer a few months after Ben, also passed away on January 7, 2025. The grief I have experienced with another great loss is indescribable. We celebrated her beautiful life last week with friends and family in Northern Virginia. 

I am grateful that I will never have to do this season of my life ever again. Thank you for the continued prayers, I know that I get through days completely sustained by the Lord and HIS strength. 

How are the kids? 

Better than expected. The three weeks of “normal” in December were really good for them. To be completely honest, even though we tried to keep things business as usual in the house during the fall, the kids could feel the impact of the constant visitors, constant doctor appointments and the tug I had to be with them and also care for Ben. December actually felt more calm for them. It was just the three of us, my attention wasn’t divided anymore and things felt more predictable. Ben comes up in conversations almost daily and there are many days that we just talk about being sad that he isn’t here, to which I often reply, “It's ok to be sad, I miss him too.”

After the loss of their grandma, I reassured them that most kids their age don’t have to walk through all this, but they are, and I’m trusting that God will use this to make them better for it. Please pray alongside me that God will use this pain and heartbreak for their good. 

Are you staying in Texas? 
Yes. I can’t imagine a scenario where moving the kids would be best for them. We have friends and a network here that allows me to feel completely supported. 

Are you going back to work? 

Not yet. I’m grateful that Ben set things up in a way that I don’t need to worry about that yet. My goal will be that when I do start working, that I am able to stay in a part-time capacity for as long as possible. As a solo-parent with two kids in two different schools in the fall, my availability to them will continue to be the priority, something Ben and I always worked towards. 

What do you need? 

I am approaching life day-to-day right now, and given the last month, the answer changes all the time. Rest assured, when I do have a need, I ask. Apparently I needed a lesson in humility because I have to ask for help ALL the time. 

I want you all to know that the husbands, all the husbands, have been stepping up in big ways. From helping with Christmas presents, technology questions, questions about taxes, insurance, mortgages, and even a chirping smoke detector. Whatever question or problem that might arise, there is a man willing to step in and help. I am so grateful. 

What’s next? 

I booked a “fun trip” for me and the boys in February. We are all anticipating this greatly as you can imagine. Pray that this goes off without a hitch and we can just experience some joy together. 

I don’t anticipate sending many more of these updates so I just want you all to know that I love hearing from you. You are never a bother. If you want to reach out, please do, just please don’t expect a response right away. 

In the fall when Ben was in the hospital, our Pastor asked Ben to talk to me about what he wanted our life to look like in the future when he was no longer with us. As you can imagine, it was a difficult task, and all Ben could say in reply was “I just want you all to THRIVE.” As you think of us, pray that each day we walk, that it leads us closer to not only what God wants for us, but what Ben wanted for us too- an abundant, thriving, life ❤️

Obituary of Patricia Rariden - my mom