Our new reality

Yesterday was confirmation of our new reality. The cancer has continued to grow and spread from the liver to the lungs and now in thyroid and lymph nodes in his neck. This is the worst case scenario.

After meeting with his Oncologist yesterday the plan will be to pivot and start new chemo drugs. With the pump that was installed, he has been getting chemo directly to his liver which then prohibited the use of certain systemic chemo drugs. Now that it's evident that the chemo in the pump is not doing what they had hoped, they will stop the use of that and add new systemic chemo drugs. This new regimen of chemo is going to be hard on him and he will most likely have a lot more side effects. Surgery is not even a discussion anymore and their hope is to slow the aggressive growth.  

We ask that you continue to pray for us in this next season of hard. Please pray for our sweet boys, their minds, and hearts. Even though we did talk to them about it, we know they do not understand the severity, something we don’t want them to ever understand. 

When flipping through my journal where I take notes for church, I stumbled upon one random note. It was the definition of Hope: confident expectation of the goodness of God. This is not Webster's definition but this is surely the definition of HOPE we are clinging to in a reality where there is no other hope. A conversation I’ve had with a lot of people during this journey is the ability to reconcile that God CAN heal Ben and also that God might NOT heal him. I’m sure if you're on this journey with us, you’ve struggled with the same thing. If you get anything from reading this today it's that God’s goodness is NOT contingent on Ben’s physical healing. We believe this to our core and in our home and I pray that you will all be able to see a little of God’s goodness today.